Something's gotta change....

So this month has flown by. I have been super busy with school and appointments I haven't been taking much time to focus on my goals.

I had big plans for this month but they were foiled by outside influences and myself.

Firstly, I haven't been able to exercise because I have been having knee pain and my doctor diagnosed me with Patellofemoral Syndrome and now I am doing physiotherapy once a week. Boo.
Also, I have been prescribe massage therapy to help with this intense headaches I've been getting almost everyday. It has already cut down how many I have been getting so I am pretty happy about that. But alas, another appointment to go to every week.
I also got orthotics because apparently my feet "move around too much". lol

Secondly, I take full responsibility for my failure in the diet department. I started out great. I was abstinent from the list of foods I devised that are off limits, and I only had a couple small binges. After that it's been sporadic. Some days I am abstinent and binge-free, some days one of them, some days none of them. This past week I have been eating chocolate like it's my job. As much chocolate as I can get my hands on! It's sickening...yesterday I was having full on conversations with my stomach because it was talking for about 4 hours from all the crap I ate that day.
THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.
Time to reevaluate and recommit. Tomorrow, yes tomorrow I WILL succeed. I WILL eat only what I have said I am going to eat in my food journal on caloriecount.com. I WILL NOT break my abstinence and WILL remain binge-free. I CAN do this. I WILL do this.
....The only problem is I said I was going to get back on track yesterday, and then when that failed, I said I am going to get back on track today...so my hope is dwindling....BUT I am desperate...I have to do something. I have only lost 2lbs in the last 4 weeks...and after the last four days I am sure that has change to gained 2 lbs...ugh.

I think what set me off is I had a really good week the first week and I only lost 2lbs. I am not used to losing so little in a week. My old ways of severe calorie restriction and excessive exercising would have seen at least 5 or 6 lbs...I was so disappointed I gave up a little. I felt like it wasn't worth it. In reality, if I would have stuck to 2lbs a week I would have been down 6 lbs by now instead of 2... It is a change I am going to have to get used to. The old ways are calling to me, but I haven't yet given up on trying to have a healthy mind and body. This is how I feel today...