On Tuesday I decided to take a vacation. I didn't go anywhere or do anything specific...I just wanted some quiet time to reflect on my old goals and dreams and see where I've been and where I am headed.
My counsellor asked me in our last session "When was your last vacation?" And I said "what do I need a vacation from? I don't do anything!" Then he said sometimes you need a vacation from the routine of your life. So here I am, 5 days into my vacation and I feel pretty good about it.
On the first day I went to this ceramics hut and painted a teapot. I will post a picture after I pick it up in a couple days. They put them in a kiln to bake, so they needed to keep it for a week. That night I wasn't doing too well and felt exhausted so I went to the hospital and asked for an increase in my moodstabilizing medication. The weeks from the end of july until last week have been very rocky moodwise.
Wednesday I spent a chunck of time browsing at Michaels (chain craft store). I bought a kit to make oragami dolls. Fuck they are hard to make. I have only made one because I didn't like it. Oh well. Then we went for Chinese for dinner and followed it up with my favourite, Bubble Tea!
On Thursday, I took some friends of my roommate to the St. Jacob's Market and took some pretty pictures of the fruit stands and the veggies. They have everything there. Then I went to Zumba in the evening and it was fun, as usual.
Friday, I went and had lunch by myself on a patio by my house. It was nice to just chill and enjoy the weather and my food. Then I went to the gym with my laptop and met a friend and we did some of ht workouts I have downloaded.
Today, I have mostly slept. I have been fee extra tired after increasing my medication. I am watching "Ballet Shoes" with Emma Watson, based on the book by Noel Streatfeild. I actually only know the book series from the movie You've Got Mail. Meg Ryan's character, defeated, is sitting in the children's section of Fox Bookstore and someone asks about the "shoe books" and she helps them out. It's ok, I was kind of hoping for more dancing and performing. It is suppose to be an uplifting story about succeeding in your endeavors when you work hard. I thought it might give me some motivation for my goals.
Tomorrow I plan on packing most of the day. Not very vacation-y...but it need to be all done by no later than Tuesday night. I am moving once again. I have moved every year at least once since 2004. I am just moving into a new house with new roommates, new location. I am excited. All utilities and internet are included, so A/C here I come!!!
Monday I am going to a friends house for dinner and star gazing afterward...I look forward to it. Then Tuesday I have Zumba, and I plan on taking the train home either Wednesday or Thursday and spending a week there until the 31st when I move.
As for tonight...I don't know what I have on the agenda...I'm feeling kind of lazy. lol I doubt I'll get a workout in...but there is still plenty of time for that.
I would like to take some time...maybe when I am on the train, to sit and reflect and decide all the things I want to do with my life. ALL the things. Things that may not even be possible but that if I could ever find a way, I would do it. I also need to plan for the fall and get my schedule worked out. I have a feeling, the plans I have been making for eating and exercise are going to land me back in outpatient ED therapy...but I feel like this time could be different.
My breast reduction appt is scheduled for mid-November....I must be 170lbs by then. Right no I am 208...ugh. That means things are going to have to be strict with very little room for leeway. Daily workouts, possibly twice a day, low calorie. Focusing one day at a time. Maybe even one meal at a time. We'll see.
