...reminising...

I am feeling very contemplative.

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of performances with my a cappella music group I am a part of. I am one of the conductors and I absolutely love it. I have enjoyed it so much this term I have accredited it to keeping me sane. Not enough time to think. Just go from practice to practice to show to show.

In this whirlwind I have lost track of my feelings, my emotions and my goals. I just feel happy all the time and that is that. I guess that is not a bad thing but that is so forgein to me. Just typing that makes me want to cry. I feel like I have lost a part of myself. The part that yearned for change and for love. I've found love. My life has changed. So why am I crying typing this?

I am so confused.

I was looking over some of the pictures I have posted on facebook over the last years I have been in university and they made me laugh but they also made me realize how far I have come. It has also made me realize that I miss a lot of people in my life who have moved away or who I only see on special occasions. I also realized that I am missing so many memories, of the good and bad. I guess I will never know why I don't remember most of my life.

I used to live with so many questions and now I must learn to live with so many questions unanswered.