So there are a lot of gaps I should probably fill in...but I don't really feel like it at this moment. Maybe in the next little while. So it's that time of year again. Time to get the shorts and summer skirts and dresses out and I am once again panicking. I had a total freak out last night to my roommate and basically ended up saying "I know I have to eat, but I DON"T WANT TO!!" *sobbing* She replied, "Well then it's really not about the food at all then, right?" and she's so right. I really saw the connection to my body and it's limits and control last night.
I have been feeling really bad about myself for a while now, probably since mid-March. Before that I was trying to embrace my curves and be a positive role model for the girls I am in show choir with. Now show choir is over for the term and I have completely lost that drive to be a role model and I just feel aweful. I feel hopeless.
